Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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