Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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