why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
