I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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