I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize