It's Friday. Sex?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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