The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
