The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
