After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
