508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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