We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
