sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
