Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize