I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
