I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
