Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
there's paper in my vomit.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
