You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
