I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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