yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
