i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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