Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize