I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
