Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
