is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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