dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
