Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
