she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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