Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
