break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
