guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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