worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've blown a few things in my day
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
