After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
