About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
