so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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