im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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