I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
