its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
