So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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