She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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