i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
