I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
