I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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