i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
