You made me cry and you don't even care
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
