thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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