K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
