I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
