His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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