his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize