where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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