She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
BRING THE BAGELS
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
