I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
