the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
