If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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