forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
