Tell her she can't have a vagina
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
