Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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