The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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