I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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