I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
