Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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